You appear to be this big, cold space
Accepting everything dated and dusty
Infested with the sequelae of neglect
How lonesome it must feel…
But you know what ?
I see you and I love you.

You ingest the onslaught of the sleepy world
Yet one word of complaint, you never mutter
You are dishevelled, malnourished,fragmented
Still you serve with loyalty and dignity…
Do you know what?
I see you and I love you.

The world may appear malevolent
It may seem there’s no care left here
Who would know that emptiness plagues you?
Hard to imagine given the weight you accomodate
But you should know that
I see you and I love you.

Hear this , You massively important space
Without you clutter reigns free
Without you history has no marker
Without you memories have no haven
Know this today
I see you and I love you

Fear not, worry not, doubt not
The once Unseen, now Seen space
Your significance has come to light
You are so deserving of all the love you now receive
Always know that whenever you feel unseen
I see you and I love you


One Love..

Ral xx


As The Tears Flow


Melancholic, broken, drowning in my tears ..

Rife with self-pity , I notice that I’m here yet again!

With judgement and criticism , I marvel at my senseless stupidity


This dark room has never felt so expansive

Looking around my familiar surroundings, everything appears strange

I ask .. “What am I doing here again?”


How did I get to this place?

Is it this relentless struggle to be?

Could it be that no one else truly understands ?


I’ve lost that feeling of being myself

Who the hell am I? Did I give that away too?

Through the tears everything appears blurry


At last I give in to the sobs wracking my whole being

I mourn the loss of who I used to be

Happy, content , safe and loved…


All I want is the freedom to be me ..

Will that ever be understood?

What is this need to be understood?


Here I lie, spent, red-faced, a puffy- nose, swollen eyes ,dry mouth

Nothing more , Nothing less re-surfaces,

Still patiently waiting for answers …


My thoughts begin their wondrous journey of inquiry..

Do I love Melancholy ?

Does Melancholy love me?


Both…. She gently whispers ..

Melancholy is your friend ..

Yippee!My long awaited answer arrives


Melancholy takes you on exciting journeys

That are found nowhere outside yourself

For that which you seek is with and within you


Confused? listen with your heart…

Your head is the filter , your heart is the gateway..

Feel the feelings, they are your gifts


You asked to find you? Now here it is ..

That path can only be undertaken

When melancholy is accepted, and not shamed.


Accept her wisdom and your guide she shall be..

Revealing all truths buried deep inside the abyss

Truths seeking the route to freedom


Embrace her and she shall be your cocoon

The comfort she’ll bring you

Shall help you weather the storms


Unite now with her and the release you experience

Will be that unattainable freedom which you seek

For it lies within you


As I embark on this rocky scenic path,

Awash with waves of tearfulness,

I’m gifted with peace and reassurance….


For in that moment , I know

Without a shadow of doubt or despair

That this path which leads me to me….


Can only be full of the riches that only tears reveal

And with it comes the realisation……



It might appear that I often write about pain and suffering but pain is real and often misunderstood and challenged….
I have come to realise that through pain comes enlightenment and wisdom…
Does this resonate with you? Please drop me a line if it does…

One Love XXx

She…..Who we all celebrate

Today We Celebrate SHE…..

Mothers-My Mama, ever loving, ever giving, ever nurturing,ever self-less, ever-knowing,ever intuitive, ever supportive, Now a mum myself, I see and I know the blessing that you are to your husband , your children and your entire family. You have loved us unconditionally from the moment you conceived us till this present moment…You still think of us first when you wake up, and we are the last thing on your mind before you sleep. You have touched the lives of thousands of people worldwide with your fiery passion to educate and inspire growth in others.You have won the heart and respect of your husband and in-laws ,as you have stood(and still stand) by your man through thick and thin,whilst extending your love and generosity towards others…10,000 pages are not enough to write about your incredible expressions of unconditional love . You are my heroine , You are my torch , You are my stepping stone,You are my rockstar..I love you Mum…

Sisters– My beloved Sisters.. the thought of you both feels my heart with so much joy..You make me feel like I have a billion hands around me, holding me up ,and never letting go..I’m confident as I walk this path called the journey of life, because I never feel alone. I feel your eternal love daily and I’m blessed to have you in my life .Together we laugh, together we cry, together we stand.. My love for you is unfathomable and never ceases…I could never have asked for better co-pilots as I navigate this journey..

Cousins-My G-funk girls for life, amazing ,courageous women you are, and are growing up to be. You have learnt from the best women and men in the world. You are always willing to be there for me when I need help, when I need support, and when I need to feel younger at heart..We share silly stories, We share our men woes, We laugh, we dance ,we cry..Remain Loving and Courageous.. Love you all so much..

Sisters/Mothers in Law-Your love is reflective of the one who sleeps beside me tonight. You love, and so he loves.. Sisters-You have nurtured and supported the men and women  in your lives,hence this circle of love we possess,which I am so blessed to experience….All my love to you …

Aunts-My dear surrogate mums.. You who have nurtured and cared for me when mum was out working, worn and tired, You who taught me to cook delicious meals , You who made my hair and dressed me up, You who listened to my crush stories,You who taught me dance moves , You who sang to me , You who loved me before you had yours (and still do)… My Aunts are the best.. I love you all so dearly, Remember in your hearts today the good times we’ve had ..Love is the only key to lasting happiness and joy...

Friends-What can I say about my friends, who are more like my soul sisters!I got to experience the true value of friendship recently . The outpouring of love cracked my heart open.The sheer volume of the love I received made up for the loss borne at the time. You are all amazing, and I love you all just the way you are…Thank you all for being with me on this journey, called LIFE….

Acquaintances-All the transient bystanders who’ve had one or two chit chats with me , you who’ve made the train journeys interesting, you who’ve triggered interesting conversations in restaurants,the hellos on the side walks to and from school runs,the acknowledging nods from you as we run past one another during our morning runs,you who I’ve made an instant connection with at conferences, workshops et al. We may never meet again or may never get to know one another past this level..I acknowledge you and send you love and gratitude for the positive energy..

Colleagues-I acknowledge all my female colleagues , past , present and future.My most heartfelt gratitude for  listening ,understanding, supporting,encouraging, guiding &caring for  me .Thanks for appreciating how tough it can be,being a Woman in the workplace, and acknowledging that we often struggle, especially when it comes to balancing our numerous responsibilities … You are Loved…

Women worldwide– I acknowledge you for your strength, tenacity, divine love, compassion,creativity, warmth ..I reach out to all you beautiful beings…Rise up, awaken and reclaim your sacred femininity…

All feminine beings– Awaken!!! Let us Love , Love , Love with all our hearts . That which comes naturally to us yearns to be explored and unleashed…SEND LOVE & LIGHT INTO OUR WORLD.

Me– I acknowledge me, and rejoice in the knowledge of the consciousness that has borne me into existence. I rejoice in the knowledge of the divine connection with all that has been, all that is and all that will be.I acknowledge this beautiful soul that has chosen to experience life in this beautiful vehicle called my body.I acknowledge this mind that strives daily to protect this soul which knows no fear,by being incredibly creative! Thank you of caring for us … I Love me , I Love you, I Love us…

As we celebrate Women, may we remember to make time ,not just today ,but every so often to acknowledge the beauty of the divine feminine in our lives.. Rise up , awaken , Oh ye creative beings, Let us join hands and protect, nourish,and preserve what we have all collectively birthed and continue to birth.. Our Men and boys need us to lead them to LOVE, Our World needs us , God has chosen us and has given us these divine feminine gifts…..GOD is LOVE and  LOVE is the message…

One Love..

Ral xxx

“In blessed memory of my dearest Grandmother Elizabeth Diana Uzuhai (whose presence and love I still feel ) and her Mother, my great grandmother Margaret Esedumme- Both amazing women in their unique ways.

I also acknowledge and celebrate my paternal Grandmother Janet Gbandi, whose compassion, love and wisdom I heard of as a child . Sadly we never met , but I am an extension of your divine femininity..”

(PS: this was written yesterday in commemoration of  International Women’s Day)

A Call to Love

I heard the call, deep within my soul…

From the crypts and crevices , it came surging..

I felt it encompass my heart space…..

Bigger than me, bigger than you , bigger than us…


Love is what I am , what you are, what we are..

Love is never separate from us..

We are never separate from love…

If we feel separate, all we need to do is invite Love…


Love is the reason I’m writing today..

Love is the reason you’re reading this today…

Love for self and others is the purpose…

Love for our Universe is the cradle …


Is Love a language worth learning?

Is love a piece worth  creating ?

Is love a gift worth sharing?

Is Love  a muse worth having?


Yes , Yes and Yes all the questions  above


Love is the greatest gift of all…

Love is the most soothing balm of all…

Love is the thickest cloak of all…

Love is the greatest force in our universe…


We are invincible with Love..

We are formidable with Love ..

We are unstoppable with Love..

We are synchronised with Love..


Let us hold each others hands  with love..

And Love from a place so deep and pure..

We can pay it forward with love…

We can show up  with Love..


One Love

Ral Xxx…



Peeps, I was inspired to share this ,this morning, and I really do hope that Love encompasses all we do today and  forever..

I haven’t posted here in ages, but love grabbed a hold of me today , and said, “No more hiding, take your seat on this train…

Love…we can never escape it, try as we might …So let’s just give in and surrender to its wings..

We can love without reason, beyond colour,identity, status , culture, religion, nationality, race…

We can do it , just because we can !

It’s in our DNA to love…Our Universe needs us to be whatever expression of love that we are….

We are made of pure love, and so love is what we naturally do…..

We only have to go back to our earliest memories of Pure love on Earth… If we think we’ve forgotten how to love…Look into the eyes of another , Look into your own eyes!! You will see Divinity…


Sending you all Pure Love and Big Hugs…


NAKED, we are born

Imagine for one moment…

Born naked and free, we are

Yet our whole lives are spent struggling to be just that.

Open and vulnerable we truly are,

However we go through life disowning just that,

Wild and authentic our true natures are,

But a great chunk of our existence denies just that….


Just Thinking…

Life as we know it, exists freely

Body as we see it, exists naked

Heart as we feel it remains, vulnerable

Mind as we perceive it, remains open

Nature as we experience it, is authentic

Love,sex ,music, beauty are often Wild……


We are often .…….

Loving about what we think we know ,

Accepting of what we think we understand

Understanding about what we can relate with

Relate with what seems acceptable to us

Protective of what makes us vulnerable

Satisfied with what appears universal


Is there room?

In our hearts… to love in ways we are not used to?

In our minds …to think and analyse in unconventional ways?

In our tongues… to bring forth healing words that may sound alien to us?

In our ears …to listen without judgement or criticism but with pure intent?

In our eyes… to see humanity, our planet , our universe as One?

In our hands …to extend healing and uplifting energy – one being to another?


It begins..

Here and now…

Inside me and you…

When we delve deeper…

As we honestly explore…

From our heart space ..

With a process of INQUIRY …………


Eventually We Begin to …

See ,

Feel ,

Taste ,

Hear/Perceive ,



The Nakedness of Life and the Freedom we are born with…. 


One Love…


All we need is ❤️

All we need is LOVE…. LOVE truly is ALL…

Does it feel like the world is going through a refining process?

Is it a case of ” it get’s worse before it becomes better”?

I pray for the day that we all start to see “Me in You and You in Me!

I’m consciously choosing to see the possibility of life in brighter shades, amidst all the doom and gloom…

Let’s join hands and pray for our dear Universe…Let us unite in love and oneness

This is the time that WE as a people,WE as a species,  can grow stronger in our yearning to show the world what LOVE truly is…

Sending you all Divine Love..

Peace 🙏


Until you find your truth..

I’ve felt uninspired ,
I’ve felt drained,
I’ve felt disillusioned,
I’ve felt depleted incapable of giving anymore
I’ve felt disenchanted there was no more magic in life
I”ve felt lonesome-despite all around me
I’ve felt lost-with no idea how to find my way home
I’ve felt disconnected from my soul’s purpose
I’ve felt dissociated – from my tribe
I’ve felt disentangled from that which serves me
I’ve felt disillusioned
I’ve felt a deep sense of loss-yet seemingly having it all

I assumed I had to be in control ,
I thought it was in my power to find my way back home,
I pushed…the more I pushed, the harder life pushed back…Arghhh!!!

Just let it be, just let go, It’s not your battle
The Silent whisperings of my soul….
Not surprisingly, ignored during this period of heightened resistance with life….

Exhausted with fighting,
I showed up anyway,
Pregnant with expectation,
Apprehensive of the transformation,
Riddled with fear of the unknown
Wondering if I’d be courageous enough to handle the message and carry it forth….


I’ve re-discovered my truth….
I’ve found my place
I have love ,a love that passeth all cognitive understanding
I’ve found my peace
I’ve found my alignment
I have a heart full of joy
I have faith to glide through the unknown
I have abundance
I’m experiencing enlightenment
I’m vulnerable yet strong
I can see, hear , feel , breathe , taste , smell,and perceive with clarity

I am alive again, I have life and life has and holds me , and if I fall again I know I will find you yet again…
If the storms come raging ,I know YOU will protect and Shelter me….

All I need to remember to do is Surrender ….
Surrender all, and the Divine Essence shall give me a new song, a renewed purpose and a re-ignited passion to make my journey uniquely beautiful…

My Truth which makes me whole…I’m truly and deeply grateful and humbled to have found you again…

And so here I ask…..

What makes our hearts sing truly?
What is our truth on a personal level?

My most sincere heartfelt prayer is that we all individually discover what our Truths are…

That we are blessed with the moments, the stillness ,the courage,the guidance to discover our truths…

One Love xxx


Let’s Communicate with Authenticity and Love

At the heart of true and deep  communication lies……

. The need to be listened to…

. The need to be understood beyond perceived opinions and misconceptions…

. The need to be heard above external and internal noise…

. The need for felt connection…

. The need to be truly loved despite perceived  failings…

. The need to be  100% Authentic…

Have a look around … What do we see/perceive /hear/feel /experience?

The joys of deep,authentic communication between people(s) and places ?

Or do we see  the state of self/societal-imposed incommunicado that affects people(s) and places…?

Directly or indirectly, we become consumed  by “what/which”,  we choose to feed..

The greatest foe of True communication is Fear…

“Be it fear of criticism, fear of ridicule, fear of not being allowed to be authentic, fear of judgement, fear of being misunderstood, fear of rejection, fear of failing to say what we want to say with eloquence,fear of alienation, fear of one’s vulnerability being exposed….etc”….

That’s what lies between us and our true expression of ourselves…. At least that’s what I’ve so far, come to realise…

Irrespective of this Foe can we communicate with authenticity and love?

Yes we can...

We can overcome this fear, whatever form it takes,

We can learn true communication by authenticating ourselves first

We can give Love a chance by first learning to love ourselves

We can open our hearts to really listen and understand

We can break the barriers and shackles,which  directly or indirectly disrupt true communication

We can learn and observe the golden rules of communication..

We simply can learn to communicate with authenticity and love  …it is an art that is as  old as the universe, and you know what? We are all privy to it…

First SEEK and Ye shall FIND…(words from the scriptures)

The Art and Science of Communication may come naturally to some…To others it may need to be learned….

Wherever we find ourselves at, let’s call that our starting point….


How can one  understand another, when one cannot or isn’t able to understand oneself?

The first person we earnestly need to learn to communicate with, is within….

Look inwards, listen attentively, feel the emotions , move with the rhythm,accept yourself , then let the  ripple effect of all that energy and love flow outwards……..

In a world fraught with chaos and disruptions,May we find that stillness we all seek and need daily…..

One Love…

Ral …..Xxxx


The title might not be the ideal choice just after marking Easter. … or ,  maybe it even is….

Anyways , I’ve just had an undeniably powerful urge to share this .. Considering that it had been sitting in the box as a draft following weeks of debating…( to share or not to share )….

It’s a long read , brace yourself!!!!

Recently,I was  spending some quality time with my youngest,and amidst all the fun we were having,He suddenly came out with this  … Mum why do we have to die?……………

Before attempting to unravel the above or even start to narrate how I responded, I’ll say this first….

We are born with a natural instinct to survive , hence our innate reflexes as neonates…..

This need for self-preservation continues to grow and  develop as we wade through the waters of life ..It takes on different forms depending on our experience of what we call LIFE

Life as we try to live it, Earth as we see and feel it , Existence as we perceive it, to a great extent determines how attached /detached we are ….Thus, when one’s  child asks .. “Mum , why do we have to die? I don’t want to die , I want to be with you forever …….” We should be glad for their thought processes, and be grateful for the opportunity to light up our little ones’ lives with stories of hope and love….

Did I do that when I heard the question drop out of my son’s lips ? No… Panic mode set in(of course), my vulnerabilities came alive , my complete lack of knowledge hit me, my heart stopped beating for a bit……Why the question , what’s happening ….and so on… ?

There was  no preparation for the tears that rolled down my eyes as the real depths of his unanswerable question began to unfold … ….

I actually experienced true heart ache for the very first time, as I realised, yet again, that a time shall come, when to my limited mind, I would be no more physically present with my loved ones, and all that’s dear to my heart….

Have we thought about this lately? How does it make us feel? I bet we want to close this page and not give it another thought … That’s the feeling it uncovers …Right ?…..

Anyway, trying to unravel my son’s honest question ,in order to give the most genuine answer I could , took me back many years …..

….Sometime in the 80’s… I remember  looking outside my window at night as a child, admiring the moon and stars in the sky… In awe, I would ask myself questions , that in my then 6/7 year old mind, remained unanswerable… ….

Try bringing up questions around death in a typical ” Extended African Family “…You immediately get hushed down from Great-grandmother  to Aunties and Uncles…..It was a topic no one knew how to truly answer…

Moreso, for  a little growing mind to even pre-conceive the idea?…It wouldn’t have been encouraged.. No one was going to sincerely answer  the deep burning questions of a 6-year-old living in 20th Century ,New Age, somewhat developing Africa?

It would then be left to Mum and Dad to address my queries and they would lovingly tell  me religious/ spiritual  stories, that were almost always sufficient to calm my inquisitive  mind…

Now going back to my dear son’s question …What did I say ? I tell you a fact .. I too was stumped, just like my predecessors , who hushed me as a child when I dared to ask those questions…

I hear my  inner whispers say to me, “It has come back full circle Ral.Your questions asked as a child are now going to be answered by you, as your own child asks you the same questions”…

I hurriedly thought to myself …Do I give an answer based on oral tradition? Do I change the topic out of fear? Do I give a faith-based answer?

I said something in the nature of this to him..

” I really do not know (material evidence/ facts ), darling , but I feel in my heart that we do not die , we transform .. We move on to another form of existence …There’s a life force inside of you that’s like the fuel we put in Mummy’s car… this gives you the lovely opportunity to be here on earth and experience all that you experience … At some point it has to move on to newer experiences, so that it doesn’t get bored , hence Death , as we call it…” Death somewhat signifies the end , however the way I’ve chosen to see it, is as follows:

 If I know not how it began , why then shall I give it an end? Hence, the process is transformational  to me and  Life to me is a continuum…

I then went on to explain how the faith I’ve chosen, and a few other religious or spiritual organisations try to explain death…

( At this point , he’s giving me that ” You’re a Lunatic , Mum” Look.. I knew it was coming though , because how do you explain the intricacies surrounding DEATH to a little child of 6? How can he comprehend the rantings of my beautiful mind, without getting lost in the maze?)

With that, a can of “GOODIES” was opened , and we began to have a very intellectually spiritual conversation that only happens when two deep, weirdos meet… Lots of interesting things were unearthed, we talked about the cycles of life et al… and I’ll not go into them all , so as not to  bore you to DEATH!!!

On the flip side though,this made me realise something .. I was hushed then because my grown- ups  were all in Awe of what we call DEATH and it  might have been difficult to get my 6-year-old brain to fully comprehend  this mystery of life … (So I forgive you all for not answering my questions-Dead and Living!!!)

POINT IS???…..

To me, the FREEDOM to truly deliberate what DEATH means to me has been very enlightening, rewarding and de-sensitizing. At least for now…

I’m finding that, the more I think about it, the less threatening it feels , and the more I look upon it as a NEW BIRTH, the more welcoming and acceptable it feels…

It has really given me a deeper level of understanding/ purpose with regards to LIFE and LIVING…And as such, every minute matters. As the seconds tick so do our opportunities, our chances , our experiences, our ability to love….

I remember this “Ibo” saying from a Reverend Father ( whilst I was sat in a Catholic church with my family in my pre-teen years …. All these years and it still  remains fresh in my memory)..It goes like this ……..

“Onye  lo ta onwu, o nua nwayo” – basically translated as  When one remembers death, one becomes still / calm”…

Does the saying above strike a chord ? It did then for me, and it still does now…

How Powerful the thought of Death is, it automatically turns us inwards , doesn’t it?

Turning inwards is key to understanding life and living , as well as coming to terms with internal and external chaos…

May we have the stillness, to truly comprehend Life and Living and as such savour the very essence of it…. This I Pray…

One Love..

Ral …XXx….

Could it be by chance?

It’s not by chance that we think of a dear friend we haven’t heard from in ages , only to hear our phone ring and guess who? Surprise , Surprise….

It’s not by chance that we say to ourselves , Oh I need to call so and so , and we pick up the phone , it’s a missed call from them!!!

It’s not by chance that we have thoughts swirling in our heads, and the next thing we know, nature starts acting it out/ giving us answers by way of real life events…(TV, radio, conversations, billboards e.t.c)

It’s not by chance that we have and remember peculiar dreams. Sometimes the picture messages are very clear and precise ,and other times very confusing….
How often do we brush them off , only to realise that they were indeed cryptic messages for the applicable other or even ourselves???

It’s not by chance that you wake up from a short nap, with a heart pounding call. You heard your name loud and clear , but you find you’re all alone … Why the call? Am I hallucinating?
You then realise seconds later, that it was to avert an imminent mishap or to help someone in distress…

It’s not by chance that you awake suddenly at night with a very clear destination and mission… Your baby’s room…you feel him/her… hotter than molten magma with a grunt that says, act now Dear Mum…

It’s not by chance that you have an overarching urge to write, to speak ,to listen to, to touch, to heal minds, bodies and souls….No matter how much we ignore it , the  feeling  never goes away.It instead haunts us day and night, giving us more and more reasons and themes to write about….

The Energy needs to flow, we can’t keep it all in(IT whispers)..

It’s not by chance that we see it , taste it , smell it , feel it , perceive it , hear it, sense it …… and whatever else we receive from this vast universe…..It’s not by chance my dear friends…

It’s not by chance that we meet who we meet ,we love who we love, and be with who we’re with… No matter the circumstances and decisions and journeys, it’s not by chance … There’s a story, a reason, and some learning ….

Let us think about the ..” Could it be by chance(s)?” we’ve encountered in our  lives and ponder… And ask…What’s the story?What are you trying to tell me?….

Yours “Ponderingly”…

One Love Xxxx

Ral ….