AS THE TEARS FLOW
Melancholic, broken, drowning in my tears ..
Rife with self-pity , I notice that I’m here yet again!
With judgement and criticism , I marvel at my senseless stupidity
This dark room has never felt so expansive
Looking around my familiar surroundings, everything appears strange
I ask .. “What am I doing here again?”
How did I get to this place?
Is it this relentless struggle to be?
Could it be that no one else truly understands ?
I’ve lost that feeling of being myself
Who the hell am I? Did I give that away too?
Through the tears everything appears blurry
At last I give in to the sobs wracking my whole being
I mourn the loss of who I used to be
Happy, content , safe and loved…
All I want is the freedom to be me ..
Will that ever be understood?
What is this need to be understood?
Here I lie, spent, red-faced, a puffy- nose, swollen eyes ,dry mouth
Nothing more , Nothing less re-surfaces,
Still patiently waiting for answers …
My thoughts begin their wondrous journey of inquiry..
Do I love Melancholy ?
Does Melancholy love me?
Both…. She gently whispers ..
Melancholy is your friend ..
Yippee!My long awaited answer arrives
Melancholy takes you on exciting journeys
That are found nowhere outside yourself
For that which you seek is with and within you
Confused? listen with your heart…
Your head is the filter , your heart is the gateway..
Feel the feelings, they are your gifts
You asked to find you? Now here it is ..
That path can only be undertaken
When melancholy is accepted, and not shamed.
Accept her wisdom and your guide she shall be..
Revealing all truths buried deep inside the abyss
Truths seeking the route to freedom
Embrace her and she shall be your cocoon
The comfort she’ll bring you
Shall help you weather the storms
Unite now with her and the release you experience
Will be that unattainable freedom which you seek
For it lies within you
As I embark on this rocky scenic path,
Awash with waves of tearfulness,
I’m gifted with peace and reassurance….
For in that moment , I know
Without a shadow of doubt or despair
That this path which leads me to me….
Can only be full of the riches that only tears reveal
And with it comes the realisation……
THAT WHEN THE TEARS FLOW ….I FIND ME…
It might appear that I often write about pain and suffering but pain is real and often misunderstood and challenged….
I have come to realise that through pain comes enlightenment and wisdom…
Does this resonate with you? Please drop me a line if it does…
One Love XXx
Thanks, a good piece. This reminds me to be human – not to fight my feelings but to lean into them, accept and embrace them…. then and only then would we get the answers we seek.
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love you too babes xxx