AS THE TEARS FLOW

Melancholic, broken, drowning in my tears ..

Rife with self-pity , I notice that I’m here yet again!

With judgement and criticism , I marvel at my senseless stupidity

 

This dark room has never felt so expansive

Looking around my familiar surroundings, everything appears strange

I ask .. “What am I doing here again?”

 

How did I get to this place?

Is it this relentless struggle to be?

Could it be that no one else truly understands ?

 

I’ve lost that feeling of being myself

Who the hell am I? Did I give that away too?

Through the tears everything appears blurry

 

At last I give in to the sobs wracking my whole being

I mourn the loss of who I used to be

Happy, content , safe and loved…

 

All I want is the freedom to be me ..

Will that ever be understood?

What is this need to be understood?

 

Here I lie, spent, red-faced, a puffy- nose, swollen eyes ,dry mouth

Nothing more , Nothing less re-surfaces,

Still patiently waiting for answers …

 

My thoughts begin their wondrous journey of inquiry..

Do I love Melancholy ?

Does Melancholy love me?

 

Both…. She gently whispers ..

Melancholy is your friend ..

Yippee!My long awaited answer arrives

 

Melancholy takes you on exciting journeys

That are found nowhere outside yourself

For that which you seek is with and within you

 

Confused? listen with your heart…

Your head is the filter , your heart is the gateway..

Feel the feelings, they are your gifts

 

You asked to find you? Now here it is ..

That path can only be undertaken

When melancholy is accepted, and not shamed.

 

Accept her wisdom and your guide she shall be..

Revealing all truths buried deep inside the abyss

Truths seeking the route to freedom

 

Embrace her and she shall be your cocoon

The comfort she’ll bring you

Shall help you weather the storms

 

Unite now with her and the release you experience

Will be that unattainable freedom which you seek

For it lies within you

 

As I embark on this rocky scenic path,

Awash with waves of tearfulness,

I’m gifted with peace and reassurance….

 

For in that moment , I know

Without a shadow of doubt or despair

That this path which leads me to me….

 

Can only be full of the riches that only tears reveal

And with it comes the realisation……

THAT WHEN THE TEARS FLOW ….I FIND ME…

 

P.S:
It might appear that I often write about pain and suffering but pain is real and often misunderstood and challenged….
I have come to realise that through pain comes enlightenment and wisdom…
Does this resonate with you? Please drop me a line if it does…

One Love XXx
Ral